My stroll down First Street was a non-starter this week due to one of life’s inevitabilities. Not death, but taxes. All I was trying to do was save a tree.
Several years ago I reluctantly let Fidelity know that I would do all of my business on-line and save some trees. I like paper and am not the swiftest when it comes to the digital universe. Even setting an alarm clock brings suffering.
Last year I had my taxes prepared by a very fine AARP volunteer at the Benicia Library. I saved a few hundred dollars which isn’t chicken feed when you’re retired and not bringing home the bacon, to mix a metaphor. They were booked up before I could make an appointment. I called from time to time to see if there were any cancellations. Nada. Was given a list of other venues where there still might be appointment openings. Called, Fairfield, Vacaville, Walnut Creek, and Vallejo where I secured the last available appointment. What luck! My appointment was a week away — plenty of time to gather medical receipts, 1099s, and other tangibles to prove I’m taking up space on the planet.
Got it all done but still had three 1099s waiting for me on the Fidelity website and a printer that had broken the week before. No problem. I know a workaround for this,” I told myself, proud to be using the word “workaround”. If I emailed those docs to the UPS store in Solano Square they would print them for me.
So I bundled up my computer and drove to UPS. The helpful and friendly Sarah said, “Go ahead and pull up the documents while I finish with someone.” Alas, I had forgotten my “strong” password. Tried changing the password before Sarah returned but that involved a call back from Fidelity with an identification code. Unfortunately, they only had my landline and I wasn’t on my land. Told Sarah I’ be back, drove home, changed my password, and rushed back to UPS. “Okay, go ahead now and email us your documents,” Sarah said. With shaky fingers I did as I was told, but she was getting nothing. “I can’t open your emails, unfortunately, due to our firewall.” My tax appointment was the next afternoon. I was toast.
“There’s another workaround for this problem,” I counseled myself. Buy a new printer in the morning, figure out how to set it up, and then print the docs and still make my 2:15 pm Vallejo appointment. Got up early and rushed over to Best Buy explaining that I needed a Brother printer ASAP. After some checking, the clerk said, “Looks like we’re all out but I could order you one.”“Won’t work” I said, my appointment is in three hours. “Here’s a Canon on sale for $59.99. My whole family uses Canon and they love it. This one is a steal at that price.” “Okay, but is it easy to set up?” I asked. “I have every confidence that you can do it.” I felt sick.
Got home, ripped open the box, pulling out endless packaging including some very elaborate styrofoam blocks, and logged on to the set-up site. After a few hours of trying and retrying, I got as far as loading the paper, and hit a logjam, so to speak. Sinking the printer software with my computer seemed a bridge too far. I decided the healthy thing would be to give up. I said to myself, “Let it go” and drove to my Vallejo tax appointment. What, me worry?
“I don’t have my 1099s on paper but can pull them up for you on my laptop,” I told the tax preparer. “We don’t have WiFi. I’ll need to see the paper docs. I always ask for my documents to be sent to me in the mail. I would recommend it,” she said. “Duly noted,” I said with sinking heart. “If you come back on April 15 somebody could probably help you, though.” “That dog won’t hunt,” I thought and left the building.
New workaround — return the Canon and order another Brother and worry about the tax appointment later. I tried in vain to repackage the printer. The styrofoam blocks didn’t fit where they were supposed to and the paper drawer wouldn’t close, so stuffed the printer into the box, dumped all of the packaging into a black garbage bag, and high-tailed it to Best Buy. Ordered a Brother which will be delivered before April 15. If you say so.
To cover my bets, I called Fidelity and asked them to send me the paper docs in case the printer didn’t arrive on time. After putting me on hold three times the agent got “special permission” to “overnight” them. “They should arrive in about five days,” he said. “Could have driven to headquarters in Wichita and picked them up myself,” I thought.
Back to getting an appointment. AARP told me to call 211. “You mean 411 or 911,” I said. “No 211.” Sure enough, they gave me the name of a local organization that could do my taxes — our own Community Action Council! Called them and was told to pick up a packet which I did as soon as I hung up. The packet was to be returned with documents and sent to the tax preparer.
So today, eclipse day, I’m practicing non attachment to outcome. Will the stars align? Lesson learned — start earlier and get important documents as paper. Apologize to the trees. Will Fidelity come through in time; will my new printer arrive soon; will CAC take my forms at the last minute?
If all else fails will call H & R Block. Not my first choice — nothing personal. Years ago I was held up at gunpoint at one of their offices. Didn’t have cash but offered the masked bandit my credit cards as the tax preparer and I lay face down on the floor. One of them was my cherished Joseph Magnin card. Assume that he got himself something nice for his efforts.
Letters From Benicia 