Spring is bustin’ out all over and the mustard is in bloom but strolling the Street wasn’t an option this week. Blame it on Omegha Salvage’s going out of business sale in Berkeley. My greed to grab as many old tiles as my basket would hold resulted in a wrenched back. Did you know that there used to be a band called “The Strolling Scones?” Now that they’re older they’re just called “The Scones.” This week I was a scone.
By the time I felt up to hitting the Street on Saturday afternoon, the sidewalks were jumping. Groups of out-of-towners, families, dog walkers galore, the cat walker rolled by, his wagon full of dogs and a cat with another kitty on his shoulder. More babies, lots of babies — all of them cute, particularly when wearing knit hats with animal ears — rabbit, bear, and cat. Do animals wear baby ears? Valentine displays are popping up in store windows. Bookshop Benicia’s display includes Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Han’s “How to Love,” bestseller “Atlas of the Heart,” and “Spare,” Prince Harry’s tell-all embracing matrimonial love. Love of The Firm, not so much. Walking home I heard a familiar voice calling, “mi amor.” It was my former Spanish teacher, Candelelario, on his fancy bicycle and dressed for the Tour de France in all red from his helmet to his shoes. He has overcome serious health risks, like a broken back, through biking and is a natural comic — a “bromista” in Spanish. Hablo in Spanglish as I’ve forgotten most of the verbs.
Have been trying for at least a year to catch up with that horse you hear whinnying all over town. For months I’d hear a horse but never see one, no horse droppings. Nada. Envisioned a masked man, his horse rearing up on two legs, shouting “Hi-yo Silver-away!” Does that date me or what? As I eventually found out, the Benicia Cowboy, as he likes to be called, has turned a three-wheeled scooter called a Pushpak into a motorized horse detailed out with a horse’s head, saddle and lasso, and a button that emits a healthy whinny. He tried to pass me Saturday by the Marina where I was able to stop him for a chat. I “What’s up with the horse?” I asked. “I was trying to get my wife a bike that she could ride. She’s a horsewoman. I had a regular tricycle but that’s hard to ride, so I bought this Pushpak and then decided to put her Western barrel riding saddle on it so that she could have her horse back. She says I’m not right in the head and it would be too embarrassing to ride it most of the time.” I couldn’t argue with that.
Describing himself as “local yokel,” B.C. has been in town for 50 years and lives on the East side.“This rig can do 25 mph,” he said which didn’t surprise me as I’ve never been able to catch him. I’d hear a horse neigh and then run out of the house, and he’d be long gone — like some sadistic ice cream man. “ Whenever the weather is good I come out to enjoy it and go to see the people downtown. Some people like it — and some don’t,” he admitted haltingly sounding more like John Wayne than the Lone Ranger.
Benicia Cowboy travels with a scrappy little dog named Haddie — half chihuahua and half poodle — a poohuahua or perhaps a chihoodle? “We like the floppy ears,” he said as Haddie left his perch, a crate on the back, and was enjoying rooting around in the grass for duck droppings. “Haddie, Haddie, come back here.” The command fell on deaf, saggy ears. So B.C. fired up the horse and sped off, leaving a bewildered Haddie racing behind to catch up. Turns out dogs run an average of 19 mph except for greyhounds who can reach 45 mph. No chance that this dog was going to catch up. Later learned that domestic cats can run up to 30 mph (when they feel like it) and horses 55 mph. To put it in perspective, Usain Bolt, the fastest man alive at 27 mph can outrun most dogs and the Pushpak horse but not a domestic cat. Auto racing, people racing, dog racing, horse racing, frog jumping, turtle racing, pig racing. What about cat racing? Hold the phone! The International Association of Fantastic Felines hosts a Meowathon every April in Gaylordsville, Connecticut. There are more than a dozen categories, but the 26-meter pounce is considered the most prestigious. Purrfecto!
Sarah Beserra is an artist, collector, Dharma practitioner and former lobbyist.
Letters From Benicia 